you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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