in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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