Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
