i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
