Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
