Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
