I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Two words: blizzard sex
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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