I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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