Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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