the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize