Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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