That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
