How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
