just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wear drunk well.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
