I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
