he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
