so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
