this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
