I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Boobs speak an international language.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
