i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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