i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
