it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
