I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
