Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
