i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
