you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
