You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
