You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize