i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No stitches, just platelets and will power
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
