we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
