By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
