I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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