Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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