You can't motorboat a personality
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
