I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
