Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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