3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
