1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well you can't waste a boner
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
