I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
