I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
