Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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