My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
