i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
