Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
