***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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