pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
wow bdsm is so cute
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
