She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize