i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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