non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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