i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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