wat bout pragnant strippers??
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
