hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
