You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think a kid would responsible me up
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize