i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
