And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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