Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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