I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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