OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
