I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
