I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
