the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
