I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm passing your future prison.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize