I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
