You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This is the high leading the old right now
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
