it's like heaven, but drunker
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
