I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
