So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
