i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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