the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I could fuck to npr.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
