I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize