Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
