i don't like sucking hair
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
